Married Life / Poetry/Musings

Serendipity At The Grocery Store

shopping_cart_by_geckokid

I’m at the grocery store with my hands glued to the squeaky shopping cart. I have the things I want to buy on a neatly organized list, because I pride myself on being efficient.

Produce, Cereal Aisle, Baking Aisle, Meats, Breads, etc.

I’ve included ingredients for recipes that I found on Pinterest. Comfort foods that are staples. I even have intentions of buying fresh fruits and vegetables.

My husband and I stroll through the busy aisles, putting items into our cart, almost robotically. Six months married, and we have this thing down. I know what he likes, he knows what I want. We pass the lady rangling six young children; the man in his suit, chatting on his phone while he picks out a nice wine; the dreadlocked couple picking out organic delicacies.

This is just a normal shopping trip that makes no one think twice. Except for me.

It was only a year ago that I couldn’t afford my own food. It was only a couple of years ago that I was eating top ramen in a rundown apartment, wondering if I could stretch the rest to last me a month. I never had a full fridge or a full stomach. Shopping trips consisted of sharing my friend’s food stamps for $50 worth of canned soups and soy milk … or of someone else making all of the purchasing decisions, while I kept my mouth shut because I was in no place to request or complain.

I was always on the brink of homelessness. In fact, I found myself there a few times. From age 19 to 25, I moved over twenty times and often depended on family and friends to put me up while I was figuring out what to do next. Stability was something I never had the luxury of experiencing.

It seemed as though I was always planning and hoping for “tomorrow,” because tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow, I would have everything figured out. Tomorrow, I would hold down a job. Tomorrow, I would accomplish something worth feeling pride over. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow … because “today” was never safe.

And then, somehow, things changed. All of a sudden, I have a residence that will not be taken away from me. The bills are always paid and there is extra money to spend and save. I have this thing called my own home, where I have a major part in the decisions that must be made.

Suddenly, I am at the grocery store not only picking out what I want, but able to afford it. I can try out exotic recipes that I end up burning, and buy treats that stay in the cupboard for months. I can make my own lists full of more than just the necessities, and have it slowly become normal to do so.

So I unload the groceries at home, finding great joy in seeing a fully stocked kitchen. I make my husband my secret-recipe spaghetti that I have nailed, and I clean up the mess in preparation of my next culinary adventure.

Then, I begin making my next shopping list and look forward to next month’s trek to the grocery store.

Why? Because while everyone else pushes their carts with glazed-over eyes, I am cherishing every second of picking out groceries. My life has become safe and stable in a blink of an eye, and I finally find myself living in today, because it is finally better than the promise of tomorrow.

** Thank you to my husband, the man that made this post (and my home) possible.

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5 thoughts on “Serendipity At The Grocery Store

  1. So wonderful to hear that happiness and contentment in your “voice” as you write. And appreciating the “mundane” is something we all need reminding of from time to time. I have to say, my wife and I always have the best time shopping together — just being in each other’s company and sharing observations. I, too, have seen those glazed-over eyes — I’m sure I even had them — and it’s a true gift when you find the kind of love that inspires you to clearly see the beauty in the simple pleasures of life ;)

  2. Thank you love, I don’t know about stable per say but I appreciate the confidence at least :) I’m glad you are happy with the way things are now, sometimes I don’t know how I’m doing with the whole husband thing.

  3. Great post! Its wonderful to see you happy and appreciating what you have. Many take it for granted. My husband and I have fun grocery shopping together. I sneak in smacks on his ass and flirting the whole time which is extra fun cuz we shop on base and run into people we know, I’m sure we’ve been caught by some. Lol

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