I like getting snail mail. No, scratch that. I love getting snail mail. There is something so seventh grade about going down the driveway to the mailbox and finding a treasure inside. Usually, all I get are bills. I
tear them up put them in my ‘to pay’ pile and go about my day. But when I get something special, like a package, I start getting that warm fuzzy feeling that usually lasts a good hour or so. I feel special!
Problem is, no one ever really sends me stuff. Nicole does, and it is one of the many reasons I love her; but other than that, nada. Zip. Zilch. No bueno. So like the problem solver that I am, I discovered a way to fix my empty mailbox syndrome: Amazon.com
Amazon is like a five star version of Goodwill (which I love as well). I can buy new or used, expensive or cheap. I can think of something I don’t need in the middle of the night, buy it with one click, and get it in the mail a week later. It serves my OCD by allowing me to track my package’s every move before it gets to me. It even tricks me into thinking that I’m saving money by buying more items so that I save on shipping; Amazon is the king, darling, and I am it’s humble servant.
Some might think that I buy unnecessary crap, and I would have to disagree. Let’s take a look at my last few purchases and why they were worth it:
I am a huge Girls Next Door fan; let me repeat: HUGE fan. I own all of the seasons on DVD and so the next thing I had to collect were the remaining two Playboy issues that they were in. Yeah, I have the others. Why were these a necessary purchase? Because I am convinced that one day, they will be collectibles. And because I like to cry over their spreads (pun sort of intended *snort*).
And then I’m like, “Hmm, so I have their Playboy issues and the seasons of their show … Oh yes! I better get the book!” So I bought the book. It was a necessary purchase because it goes with the collection and has all the down-low scoop!
So then I was feeling all extra motivated to get in shape (you know, because of the Playboy mags) and so I bought Zumba for the wii. It was a necessary purchase because I was convinced that I would become a dancing, calorie burning MACHINE! I may have gotten in two weeks ago, and I may not have played it yet, but I will! I have big plans with it, I tell you!
And then I started feeling all lonely because I don’t have a 90 year old rich boyfriend. So I went on a chick-flick binge and bought all of my favorite romantic comedy movies. Necessary purchase because … well, do I even need to explain this one??
I still have packages on the way, so I’m still feeling quite giddy. So, you ask, where does the problem come in? As much as I hate admit it, the problem comes when all of the packages have been delievered and I have no money left.
The money is gone and the mail ceases to come. Food loses its taste and appeal. The realization that I just spent hundreds of dollars on a website again, is sort of painful. Which is probably why I choose not to think about it for too long … and continue to buy more stuff when I get more money.
So yeah, I think I might have an Amazon.com problem … but I’m not yet ready to seek help.