I like getting snail mail. No, scratch that. I love getting snail mail. There is something so seventh grade about going down the driveway to the mailbox and finding a treasure inside. Usually, all I get are bills. I tear them up put them in my ‘to pay’ pile and go about my day. But when I get something special, like a package, I start getting that warm fuzzy feeling that usually lasts a good hour or so. I feel special!
Problem is, no one ever really sends me stuff. Nicole does, and it is one of the many reasons I love her; but other than that, nada. Zip. Zilch. No bueno. So like the problem solver that I am, I discovered a way to fix my empty mailbox syndrome: Amazon.com
The package came today, you did great Loony!
Amazon is like a five star version of Goodwill (which I love as well). I can buy new or used, expensive or cheap. I can think of something I don’t need in the middle of the night, buy it with one click, and get it in the mail a week later. It serves my OCD by allowing me to track my package’s every move before it gets to me. It even tricks me into thinking that I’m saving money by buying more items so that I save on shipping; Amazon is the king, darling, and I am it’s humble servant.
Some might think that I buy unnecessary crap, and I would have to disagree. Let’s take a look at my last few purchases and why they were worth it:
I am a huge Girls Next Door fan; let me repeat: HUGE fan. I own all of the seasons on DVD and so the next thing I had to collect were the remaining two Playboy issues that they were in. Yeah, I have the others. Why were these a necessary purchase? Because I am convinced that one day, they will be collectibles. And because I like to cry over their spreads (pun sort of intended *snort*).
And then I’m like, “Hmm, so I have their Playboy issues and the seasons of their show … Oh yes! I better get the book!” So I bought the book. It was a necessary purchase because it goes with the collection and has all the down-low scoop!
So then I was feeling all extra motivated to get in shape (you know, because of the Playboy mags) and so I bought Zumba for the wii. It was a necessary purchase because I was convinced that I would become a dancing, calorie burning MACHINE! I may have gotten in two weeks ago, and I may not have played it yet, but I will! I have big plans with it, I tell you!
And then I started feeling all lonely because I don’t have a 90 year old rich boyfriend. So I went on a chick-flick binge and bought all of my favorite romantic comedy movies. Necessary purchase because … well, do I even need to explain this one??
I still have packages on the way, so I’m still feeling quite giddy. So, you ask, where does the problem come in? As much as I hate admit it, the problem comes when all of the packages have been delievered and I have no money left.
That golden potato peeler semed so worth it though …
The money is gone and the mail ceases to come. Food loses its taste and appeal. The realization that I just spent hundreds of dollars on a website again, is sort of painful. Which is probably why I choose not to think about it for too long … and continue to buy more stuff when I get more money.
So yeah, I think I might have an Amazon.com problem … but I’m not yet ready to seek help.
I’m waiting for ‘a universe from nothing’ and ‘the virgin suicides.’ I’m now at the point where I’m getting anxious for its arrival. And then … very quickly disappointed. Anxiety. Brief elation. Disappointment. Why do we do this?
Virgin Suicides: classic.
Glad to hear it. Only read a few excerpts from this Eugenides (however you spell it) guy. I love his style.
Because we’re masochists … apparently.
I just bought ‘You’ve got mail’ on DVD lol! Ok… so I didn’t get it in the snail mail, got it in the ‘Valentines’ section at the supermarket. So I can watch it all alone on V day!
Snail Mail is the best. Have just got a package from America with some goodies.
So we both have great taste in movies
I do this, too! Except I buy a lot of shoes…and books, of course.
Ahhh two very good choices
I had the same problem with net-a-porter. Believe me that was a lot worse. Financially.
I’ll take your word for it
Oh em gee. You stole my thoughts and copied them to your brain! Seriously.
If I could have a genie in a bottle, and even if I only got one wish, I would have an instantaneous pen pal club with 457 or so members, all of whom have become dear friends with me and write regularly. In the mailbox I would experience a semi-cataclysmic joy every single day as I pulled out the best thing in the whole world, and then spend the remainder of each evening pretending not to notice my children raising themselves while I disappeared into the blissful oblivion of handwritten, postal stamped gifts of mental reprieve. I would live in an in-home vacation for the rest of my days.
Playboy? Interesting. I had you pegged for The Rolling Stone, and sometimes W Magazine, with the occasional hardcover autobiography. Oh wait, that’s me. I love this post.
I do love the occasional W, and have many a hardcover autobiography’s in my “to read” pile, so no fear!
I do love your pen pal idea!
ach, who needs help – aside from the two of us. I like to send stuff, you like to recieve stuff. You have my email adress
and my home adress
Ah yes, yes I do *evil laugh*
New picture.. I like it… yo were going for a Naughty Nerd look, right?
Actually I was showing off my new 80′s jacket but then I decided that no one cared, so I cropped it
I am a naughty nerd, I don’t have to try for that look hah
I finally admitted that I needed an Amazon detox and unlinked my bank card details from my amazon account when I found myself have to buy a new full length book case to house all the purchases I’d made in the space of about two months.
I’d been off work with a slipped disc, and high as kite on pain medication, and at the time buying ALL THE THINGS on my epic wishlist seemed like an awesome idea.
No more ‘One-Click’ purchases for me. I am going to head over and check out The Girls Next Door though, I’d never heard of it before.
Hmm … perhaps I should be brave like you and do that …
Yes, but don’t “Arrested Development” gifs make everything better?
They do!
Honestly, reading your entries really makes me wish I didn’t have to grow up because right now I don’t need to earn the money I spend on Amazon
Hahahaha! Have fun while you can!
I feel with you! I do the same but my issue at the moment is Asos.com ! Can’t help it! But the way I see it this is a good problem! It brings happiness, for awhile and sometimes a bit of anxiety but what does not one do to find true happiness, right? Even if it’s just for a few hours?
You’re right, you’re soo right. Thank you
Speaking of snail mail, thanks for the card!
Welcome
Do any of us get snail mail beyond bills anymore?!
Sad, sad.
But Zumba is so much FUN!
Aye!
I completely get the feeling of being elated when you buy something and then like eh,whatever after you get it. Then being crushed because you have no money left.
You’ll have even more mail soon because I have two envelopes to send you, I just need to get some stamps.
Yay!!
I love snail mail too, but only get it from my mom. And now I am living with her, so only bills come.
I look longingly at the stuff on Amazon (mostly books), but unlike you, I did not have any money whatsoever to buy anything and so I have not been in danger of overspending.
I will get my first paycheck from my new job on Friday, but I already have a new plan in place to avert a book buying frenzy. I tie my purchasing allowance to daily completion of personal objectives (not resolutions!) like flossing, studying Spanish, meditating, etc. When I hit all my objectives for one day I give myself $5 towards anything I want, guilt-free, at the end of the month. I “earned” $25 last month and bought a kindle book, an MP3 album, and watched a $5 movie at the theater. February is not looking great for my discretionary account so far. Maybe I should give myself $1 for each objective daily instead? That would give me $180 total for the month with a 100% success rate (6 objectives x 30 days)
Do I sound loony?
I think this is an awesome idea! I might have to steal it for myself.
Feel free!
Woah, girl! That has got to be the coooolest thing I’ve ever heard!
Reminds me of the book I’m reading, “Confessions of a Shop-A-Holic. Love it and love Amazon. Also, love e-bay for the same reason. I totally understand. Most of my shopping is for presents for others but than I think “Well, since I’m getting that, I may as well get something for myself too.”,