One of my favorite things to do, as of late, is watch Bruno Mars slowly grind his hips to “Locked Out Of Heaven” on the Ellen show. Seriously. Not only is the song hot, but then you have a luscious Filipino man thrusting his keep-yo-pelvis-far-from-me ; doesn’t get any better than that. This really makes me think of Santa, and the kind things he has given me this week. I know, I know, I complained a whole heck of a lot in my ‘I didn’t get thin’ post, but I assure you, I am grateful for some things as well. Here, since its been way too long, is my Sunday Recap list.

Freshly Pressed … again.

Don’t question it!

I woke up the other day with nothing to live for. I knew that I had to step on the scale and face the number … I had eaten an entire bag of fudge the night before, so it was going to be a disaster. Before I faced the wrath, I checked my email. I saw that I had been Pressed again. Wooeeee! The crazy in my head spun almost as quickly as my body. It was cool; I was happy.

At least something good can come out of despising myself.

Did you see the new header image??

Me and the girls

My lovely little sister made the new header for me. Never mind the fact that it showcases some of my bad habits (not that I pick my nose or anything …); she did downsize my muffin top (thanks, sis!) & feature the kitties.

Chicken anyone? I did burn my crotch cooking it for you.

Pour boiling water away from crotch …

Those blisters don’t look healthy …

Now that my blisters are popping open healing, I have had a decent amount of time to reflect on my poor cooking choices. Showers have been interesting, as has putting on clothing. I’m grateful for the outpouring of crotch-pathy; your comments have been most helpful in easing the pain.

I want to say that I’ve learned my lesson. I want to tell you that I will never do something as stupid, again. But I will. I guarentee it. My brain shuts off, floats away sometimes. It is out of my control, and therefore, another disaster is unstoppable. Oh well, at least you’ll enjoy reading about it.

McDonald’s is open 24 hours. 24 hours, people.

Please? I really need a McDouble …

So since I got my license back after a year long suspension (ssshh!), I’ve been getting behind the wheel like a boss. I drive like a granny total gangster, people everywhere stop and stare. I even drive down the driveway to check the mail. Okay, not really … but I have thought about it.

The BEST thing about being able to drive again is that ability to satisfy my late night cravings. It starts with a commercial on TV. Cheeseburger. Fries. Ice coke. I start shaking; is that sweat rolling down my forehead? Oh God! “Sis, cheeseburger!” I say. She looks back at me, we connect eyes: we are thinking the same thing. “Lets go!” she shouts. Before you know it, we are in the car at 1 am on our way to McDonalds. It’s awesome. And great for my thighs.

So yeah, It’s been a pretty okay week. Christmas is coming, my presents are wrapped, and a bunch of food is coming my way. Another reason its good to be single. Have a lovely Sunday everyone, happy holidays!