Sometimes, I miss the people that I’ve pushed away. The ones I let go out of fear; or the desire to move on to whatever came next. Sometimes, I miss not having anyone to talk to; to really talk to. The kind of conversation that has no boundaries, no expectations; the kind where silence is never awkward, but accepted.
Sometimes, I miss having that. Because at night, when the thoughts begin to flood, I would give anything to be able to call someone up and face no rejection or judgement for the things I have to say.
I miss that effortlessness, that ease. I missed the relationships that weren’t fuzzed by deeper or unwanted feelings. The friendship was just that, and it was love … just a different kind. It was just all fluid approval.
Sometimes, like last night, I miss having that person I could trust with my feelings. But I pushed them all, one by one, out of my life. I acquaint myself now only with those who have singular intentions; we will give and recieve what we want, and then move on. Is it all I feel that I deserve? All I can get? Fear of giving more of myself? The classic story that no one wants to hear anymore. I have my company for awhile …
But on the 23rd night, I lie in bed alone. And the thoughts corrode and corrupt, with no outlet.
Sometimes, I just miss having someone to talk to.
This captures my emotions so incredibly accurately that after reading the first sentence I read the whole thing again. Four times. Brilliant.
Thank you so much
This is great insight eloquently stated. You reach to my heart, which is right now breaking for you.
Thank you
Awww I am sorry that your mind is so full of those thoughts.
Reblogged this on The Thought Buffet. and commented:
Looks like I’m not the only one that feels like this.
Hug
Thank you
Bummer Loon… here’s a big hug, kiddo… better? come on (coaxing)… better?
All in all, it turned out to be a good idea and worth the effort.
Hey, I started seeing this same thing coming in my direction and one day about a year ago I sat down and thought about who I knew I could (& wanted) to see… and I thought of an old friend – the only one out of many so-called… I called him up and went to visit… it’s still work for me (in some ways) but I have a friend who I try to visit maybe not real often but regularly… not quite up to calling him up at night, but hey he’s a friend — and it seems that as I feel better & more friendly, the women are starting to notice
Gorgeous girl, sending hugs your way!!
What you said about the kind of conversations that have no boundaries or expectations was so perfect. That’s the best kind of conversation, it renews your soul. If you ever want to you can call me, I’m here and i won’t judge you.
I’ve a proposition. When one of us writes a best selling novel, becomes famous, absurdly rich and shoeless, that person flies the other over – so we meet in either Australia or ‘Murica – and make extra long chats over pretentious, espresso martini’s and slightly toasted breads with eggplant and yoghurt dips. Deal? *Yeah, sure, sounds like a great idea*. Okay, well, I’ll get back to writing.
Deal.
If you don’t mind the extra charge to call Germany, you can call me anytime
Heh … you’re wonderful
Oh you are prime for new friends! I volunteer. =)
I accept!!
“Sometimes, I miss the people that I’ve pushed away. The ones I let go out of fear; or the desire to move on to whatever came next. Sometimes, I miss not having anyone to talk to; to really talk to. The kind of conversation that has no boundaries, no expectations; the kind where silence is never awkward, but accepted. ”
like the prelude..
Reblogged this on decru.