I have been down this road before. I know where it ends. Today will be no different than all of the others before it; they are waiting for me, they will find me.
I beg my mom not to make me go: Please do not force me into that hell. I beg and plead to be set free, but my pleas are not heard. This is some sort of test of bravery – This some sort of test of building my character – This is some sort of lesson – she says. They say. All of them say the same thing: Go to school, ignore them, you cannot just run away from your problems. And so.
Even the weed doesn’t help anymore. Even the alcohol doesn’t help anymore. The cutting still numbs me a little, but it has lost its strength. The adults have seen my bloody scars, caught me in my mischief, heard some of the secrets I had previously kept hidden … and yet, I am not being heard. Not seen. No one is listening. I even tried to run away. The cops found me, and even they would not hear my pleas.
I walk through the halls with my head down, but even still I can feel their eyes. I am being dissected and soon, soon the taunts will start. You know how in the movies, even the loner has a friend? Not me. I have no one. Not one single person to hide beside. I walk alone in a sea of sharks that have decided to hate me with passion. For reasons false and untrue. My days are filled with painful words, shoving, tripping, rumors that are spread with poison. So this is building my character, huh? I am ignoring them (as much as you can ignore being pushed into a desk), but they are not going away.
There is no rescuing for me. No safety. I have tried everything else, nothing has worked. Maybe what they yell at me in school is true: me dying is the only way out.
That is a tiny excerpt of my high school experience. My heart breaks every single time I hear of another teen committing suicide because I know that darkness & pain so very well. I did not succeed in my multiple quests at dying , and so live another day to fight my battles … but this is the exception to the rule. Not everyone will have that outcome.
I am not searching for pity; I do not want it. My bullying experience ended 6 years ago, I am over that mountain.
I am searching for change; I am sharing my story. Because it is my responsibility. Some will not be able to say 6 years have passed. I won’t say “it gets better”; I will say “it will pass.”
Some thoughts:
- I don’t think that it’s bullying alone that causes the attempting/committing suicide, for there are bullied people that get through it in one piece. The catastrophic difference is the underlying mental issues that causes the bullying to become unbearably emphasized.
- I’d like to make clear that I did once believe that all of the adults in my life were out to get me (as apparent in my old journal entries), but I no longer think that way. That excerpt is from the viewpoint of my teenage self. As a child/teen, the adults have the power. If you feel betrayed, let down, or unheard by them then it is easy to begin to think of them as your enemy. This is detrimental to understand (and should never be insulted) because it is a key part of bridging the gap in relationships.
- Bullying has been around forever, it is easy for people to think it is a phase that will pass in their children’s life. And sometimes it does. But sometimes it doesn’t. The gamble is just too high to roll the dice here.
- Another thing, the responsibility. We cannot place the blame or responsibility on one thing alone (ie teachers, schools, parents, etc) – this must be a team effort!
There is so much more that I have to say, but I must tread lightly.
My thoughts & love to those victims of pain.














Great post. I am sorry you had to endure all of that.
x,
Becca
It’s okay, I just hope I can help someone with that experience.
If you ever need to talk, I am here for you!
Thank you
I am over that mountain, it all just comes flooding back when I hear of another teen committing suicide.
I’m glad you made it through and look forward to what more you have to say.
Thanks, that means a lot
My heart aches for what you have come through. As an educator, I have heard the old scripts too many times. “everyone goes through it” or “it’s just part of growing up.”. Worse, “sticks and stones.”. You give voice to the reality of bullying and if even one person steps up to help, you have made a great impact. I am sending you thanks and virtual hugs.
I really appreciate that, thanks so much!
I’m glad that you came out the other side, loony.
Thanks weido
You’re doing a wonderful thing, writing about your experiences. I can only hope anyone suffering stumbles upon your wonderful blog!
It lifts my spirits on an all-too regular basis.
I really appreciate you saying that, it makes it worth it … thank you so much.
So, without trying to be imprudent, I’ll ask a question. Why do you feel that you have to tread lightly? I don’t think I understand that.
I guess I still carry a bit of fear around with me … although I am over and through my experience, there is still a part of me that feels I must hold back. So tread lightly = I am still a bit scared to fully divulge. It may not make sense, but it doesn’t have to.
Then I hope that very soon you experience the real joy of feeling not just free of it, but having trouble remembering what it feels like.
I hope so too
Beauty in the bravery. You took my heart mind and soul on a journey, sweet spirit. Painfully touching. We seem to lose sight of the intensity of these experiences; thank you for striking a nerve that so many others aren’t courageous — or humble — enough to face.
Honorable, thoughtful, inspiring. Good for you sister.
Wow. I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Thank you for stopping by, reading, and for saying such sweet & touching things.
When I hear of bullying and its effects on people – doesn’t even have to go as far as suicide – I feel the rage boiling by blood. It was that rage that protected me from a lot of bullying, but still I made it to the 10% that DON’T FIND IT AMUSING. Sad to say, though, it builds character. Those who haven’t been chronically bullied are those who bully or abide by the bullies. The second are cowards, the first are big cowards.
It does build character … but it can also ruin character for a long time. 6 years later, I can look back and see how I grew … but it took all that time to rebuild myself.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for reading
Yeah…
Question: why must you tread lightly?
Because I am still scared … a bit. I still carry a bit of fear to give too much away (fear of backlash I suppose). It is something I try to rid myself of, but it takes tiny steps.
Yep, I get that… same here. This blogging is helping (me) a lot.
But then again (on the other hand), there’s nothing wrong with being private… I sometimes think this whole openness thing is a bit overdone… so I’ve decided to share what I want & not what I don’t want… I think more important is what’s behind hte sharing — Love? Ego? You know what I mean…
cya
I do know what you mean