I have a special relationship with Donny Osmond.

You’re so much funnier than me!

Not possible, girlfriend!

Last night I had a dream that I was at my grandma’s house. I was just standing there, doing whatever dreamers do, when all of a sudden I spot Donny Osmond walking toward me. I scream. Begin to bawl uncontrollably. “OhMyGod I love you!,” I said through my snot, “Can I take a picture with you?” He of course, being the amazing man that he is, said yes. And I proceed to waste hours taking pictures with, and crying on, Mr. O.

Where are you, Lunatic?

My one-sided love affair with Donny began four years ago. It was a late night, and I found myself surrounded by a mountain of rented movies that I had yet to touch. There was a pizza in the oven, popcorn in the microwave and chips in front of me. I was hungry. I also needed a laugh. So out of desperation, I put in College Road Trip. The beginning of the movie was mediocre at best.  I only stuck with it due to sheer laziness … I didn’t want to get up to change it.

But then. But then. Donny Osmond appeared and the universe stopped. The stars shot around my head and doves flew out of his. I was in a trance that he demanded and controlled. ‘Hilarious’ wouldn’t even begin to define his acting. I had found him: my favorite comedian. My own personal comedic genius.

Is it cold there without me?

Donny Osmond still holds a special little spot in my heart. Although his visits are few and far between nowadays, I will always have a place for him. And when I feel like it has been too long, and I just can’t take it anymore, my dreams allow for a much needed get-together.

Thanks for last night, D.

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