Healing

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Sometimes, I miss the cigarettes. I miss the booze. I miss the blade over my skin. Mostly, I miss the avoidance. I could wrap all of my unsettling feelings up with a nice little bow, and pretend they didn’t exist. … Continue reading

please, don’t leave me

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  i wake up to the back of his neck. i nuzzle my face into his skin and i repeat i need you i need you i need you i stare at the tattoo on his back his hair the way … Continue reading

Some Things You Can’t Go Back To

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People change. I think sometimes, the replacing of a stagnant creature benefits all … but sometimes, the transformation is almost too much to bear. Some things you can’t go back to. Inevitably, time slips away, and with it leaves the … Continue reading

And I Felt

Haunt my thoughts
my dreams
my heart
my soul
Until the very blood in my veins
drips with darkness.

Suffocated in times past
I cannot run
I cannot hide
I cannot hold my breath
It is there
always there
my foe
my closest friend.

Antagonizing
agonizing
sorrow
Though I no longer cave to the thoughts of ending my own life,
I now fear that
my
thoughts
my
memories
are killing me.

A Different Kind of Person

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I used to be a different kind of person. I was broke and tired, I was running on pure desperation. My conscience was hidden underneath layers of cold; under layers of sadness that were stale and hard. I didn’t know how … Continue reading

Thankful.

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I will not deny it, things haven’t been so easy as of late. I seem to have slipped into some kind of comfortable sadness; some form of loving loneliness. This is how things used to be, not how they should be now. But … Continue reading

Shining Star

i think i like the way it feels to
know that this is the end.
even though you tell me
it’s just the beginning.

tell me when i die
you will throw my ashes out into the ocean
but save some
to shoot into outer space
so that i may become
a star.

i don’t plan on slitting
my wrists
or tying the noose
i just find a little comfort
in the fantasy of this
being my last winter.

or maybe it won’t be
maybe i will write my book
and travel off to distant lands
and live
the dreams i used to have.

just promise me
that one day
i will be a distant
shining star.